A Hot Mess

So, you’re in a mess…again; maybe of your own doing, maybe not. Yet another challenge has hit you, your family, a friend or someone you care about and you feel absolutely powerless, very possibly consumed with sadness, even anger or over-all helplessness. 

These situations can easily overtake all of us at one point or another. You are not alone.

But what if I shared a perspective you may or may not be familiar with that could actually help when you find yourself drowning in circumstances beyond your control?

What if I presented you with a few key factors that would begin to anchor you in peace during your storm?

Would you try them?

“These situations can easily overtake all of us at one point or another. You are not alone.”

Listen. This may not be what you want to hear, but trust me on this. When we have an infection, we go to the doctor for antibiotics, right? We need to follow the instructions and take the medication as prescribed so we allow and help our body to heal - the goal being restoring ourselves to health. There are physical symptoms when we don’t feel well. Once we recognize that we feel terrible and are only getting worse, we “own it” and take action by making an appointment or getting in the car and driving to urgent care. We TRUST a doctor to accurately diagnose us and write that prescription we drove all that way for. We recognize that our bodies are not getting better on their own and we need medicine to stop whatever is going on. So we make the decision to partner with the necessary steps involved to acquire the medicine we need to get better.

I am talking about the same thing but for our souls. Sadly and so often, people do not recognize that their souls get sick also. And this happens far more frequently than us being overcome by physical ailments. Our souls have memories with imprinting from childhood. They contain specific levels of both health and dysfunction that trigger how we view the world and relate to people. When the scale is tipped to dysfunction, our souls are in need of soul medicine to balance us out. It’s really that simple.

The greatest factor is are we are willing to recognize and then partner with the medicine necessary to heal our souls? 

How do we recognize our souls need help? It’s generally our coping mechanisms and how we respond to challenging people and/or situations. If we easily fly off the handle, crawl into self-pity, blame, get angry, don’t communicate our hurts or needs to whoever we are in relationship with, stuff it, deny it, ignore it and move on, these are all indicators that our internal scales need balancing and are crying out for healing.

The truth is we all try to “get better” in our own strength. But just like New Year’s resolutions, they only last so long and go so far before we fall right back into our “normal” pattern of coping and wrong believing. And then we commonly beat ourselves up wondering if we/others/our circumstances will ever change.

“How do we recognize our souls need help?”

Like most, I have made countless mistakes in my life, was littered with wrong thinking and had many terrible coping mechanisms. It’s important I share that I divide my belief systems, mistakes and coping abilities into BC and AC - Before Christ and After Christ. With all of the insanity in my life BC, I honestly should have been dead many times over. But I had both a praying grandma and praying mom (even though I did not have healthy relationship with my mom, I recently found out that she prayed for me daily, which made all the difference and helped me get to where I am today). Back then, I was as lost as they come, clawing to “belong” and desperately wanting my pain to stop; receiving every crumb anyone would throw my way and always trying to figure life out on my own. Recognizing I was in a mess since childhood and feeling hopeless to change my circumstances, I regularly threw caution to the wind and decided not to care about right and wrong, health and dysfunction because I saw no way out and what was the point of trying. 

That was thirty years ago. My life is radically different now AC, After Christ. It’s not simple by any means, but the hope and supernatural ease in attaining peace in my storms are becoming easier the more I relinquish my control that says, “I’ve got this.” Because in fact, I don’t - at all. And I say that with twinkling eyes, a side smile, and peace in my soul, knowing my freedom has come on the heels of my surrendering each person and circumstance to the One who does, in fact, have all the answers; the One who is madly in love with me, and has my ultimate Mission Impossible plan already written out. All I have to do is acknowledge my weakness, have a humble heart posture, and trust Him to work out all the details. After all, how long does it take us to finally realize WE CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE!  We can only change ourselves and we need to “own” our crap. What we don’t own will eventually own us. And it will be like an unnoticed piece of rogue toilet paper stuck to the bottom of our shoe until someone points it out or we realize it ourselves. Do we remove it or leave it attached? We remove it, of course! We “owned” it was there and took care of it!

If I gave you my first key, would you use it to unlock your life? 

Can you admit there are places inside you that lack fullness, are negative, angry, critical, depressed or just not right?

I’ve been there, friend. It’s awful. It’s a perpetual internal dull ache and empty place in our soul that we tirelessly try to fill. Like an ongoing hamster wheel, we start a new diet. We exercise. We take up hobbies. We drink. We do drugs. We hook up. And every single one only proves a dead end and leaves us empty once again. 

What if I told you that you were MORE than enough just as you are?

What if I told you the Lover of your soul is calling you by name?

What if I told you that if you are taking the time to read this, God is reaching out to you right this very minute and wants to take you off your hamster wheel?

There are no accidents, my friend. 

That empty and unsatisfied place you’ve been trying to fill for so long is the exact place you will never be able to fill on your own. That hungry space longs to be satisfied and we exhaust ourselves trying, believing if we try just one more thing, it will make us happy. But just like the Disney movie Aladdin, there is only One who can enter the cave of treasures. Only ONE has access to your treasures and satisfies that empty place inside you. That space is locked down and only One Key has access to it - Jesus, the very Aladdin to your soul.

We accept Jesus because we finally recognize we are lost and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it on our own. We have tried over and over again in our own strength. And we come up short each time. We realize it’s only by accepting Jesus that we have hope and are no longer alone to fend for ourselves. It’s at that pivotal moment we say, “Yes” to Jesus that our soul is unlocked, connection to the Father is made, our spirit “wakes up” and our bodies immediately become the Temple filled with the Holy Spirit - our earthly Helper, spoken of in 1 Corinthians 6:19. I liken it to yet another Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast, where Love’s True Kiss revives the dying rose that’s been slowly fading away under glass containment. We have been spared from death, are revived, and rise to new life because we finally realize our incompleteness and invite our Creator, the True Lover of our soul, into our life.

That empty place inside us has always, ALWAYS hungered and thirsted for righteousness and we have done our best to fill it believing all the wrong things about ourselves and others, going about it in all the wrongs ways, while having all the wrong motives. Once we’ve invited Christ in, He fills us and we finally understand that it’s Him we’ve been searching for all along.

God says about us in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart. Luke 12:7 says He knows the exact number of hairs on our heads. And, in this beautiful exchange of relationship, we recognize the following about Him in Psalm 139:14- I praise You [God], for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Our very soul recognizes and knows Him. It’s how He created us! He never intended us to live apart from Him!

It’s a sacred relationship, friend, God knows every single detail about your life down to how many hairs on your head He gave you! This longing, this hunger, this thirst you have can only be quenched by the One True King, Jesus. 

He paid the price for you to be reconciled to the Father after Adam and Eve got themselves kicked out of the Garden and ruined relationship with Almighty God for all mankind. There was nothing any of us could “do” in our own strength to make things right. It was Jesus, who came and took our place as the eternal sacrifice for every sin we could ever commit. Before Christ we were doomed to try to reconcile ourselves to God in our own strength propelling us to relentlessly search for internal satisfaction ( through our flesh, which is temporal). After Christ, He awakened our spirits and the missing piece to our puzzle was finally found. His love broke through every chain that kept us separated from the Father. And we now stand “right” before Him - holy, blameless, and above reproach, adopted and reconciled to our Amazing Maker, Best Friend and Solution to every trial we will ever face. Never again will our life be based on our performance, but rather on our position in Christ, which has made us clean before the Father.

Before Christ, we were all subject to the ancient Law of Moses which said it was all about our love/performance for God demonstrated by a strict code of rules to follow, of which, since the beginning of time, we have failed to uphold in our own strength. Before Christ, our very DNA cries out for right relationship with God, hidden in our unconscious minds and driven by our quest for acceptance that masquerades as so many counterfeits. 

Our new covenant with Jesus says it’s all about God’s love for us and our position in Christ is what makes us clean as we stand before Him now. We have nothing else to prove, do or be. We are enough and we simply must accept His gift of saving us from eternal separation from our Father. It is the ultimate experience of unrequited and sacrificial love; truly unfathomable.

Self awareness is paramount. Jesus is the first key we must realize we need. Accepting Him is the key to unlocking our soul and filling that place reserved only for His presence to reside (if you have never asked Jesus into your heart and would like to, you can pray the prayer at end of blog).

The second key is…

Get to know Him. You don’t have to go to church to do that, although at some point it is important to belong in fellowship community.

Get yourself a Bible and sit in a quiet place. Let Him begin to love you into your TRUE identity; believe who He says you are, what He calls you, and how He defines you. It’s the greatest love story on the face of the planet. Watch Joyce Meyer, Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, Michael Todd sermons on Youtube! Once you’ve partnered with Jesus, (your soul medicine), your identity will supernaturally begin to redefine itself and dispel any negative view you’ve ever had of yourself. And the best thing? You will slowly but surely begin to understand the relentless love God has for you. Just as you need food everyday to nourish your body, so too, you need to spend time with Jesus daily. He is your nourishing soul food who feeds your spirit.

“Self awareness is paramount. Jesus is the first key we must realize we need.”

Be humble, open and transparent (HOT! - taken from Pastor Michael Todd from Elevation Church in Tulsa, OK). There is nothing more appealing than a HOT woman who walks in her true identity and the confidence that His love is enough for her. We all are works in progress and just to put your mind at ease, none of us ever “arrive” while here on earth. Seeing God’s hand in our life, walking out our salvation with Jesus and learning to rely on the Holy Spirit for help are the keys that unlock our lives and lead us to freedom in everything we will ever face. 

By inviting Jesus into our heart, we are acknowledging that we don’t have the answers and are willing to trust in the God of the universe to work on our behalf. We agree that we were divinely formed and called by our Creator and that if you or I were the only one on earth, Jesus would have taken our place and died on the cross for even just one person to make us right before our Father. None of us are capable of doing that on our own.

And the final key is: Own your past mistakes.

You don’t have to be overcome by your circumstances anymore. God cannot heal what we aren’t willing to reveal. So be real. Be authentic. God already knows anyway so just ADMIT it! Each one of us inevitably will hit that brick wall where we throw our hands up in defeat and say, “I have no idea what to do! How is this going to turn out?!” as we spend night after night tossing and turning with little sleep freaking out about what we are going through. God says that when we lay our head down [on our pillow], we will not be afraid [and] our sleep will be sweet (Proverbs 3:24). Yes! We really can get a great night’s sleep in the middle of the mess! Just be willing to “own” the stuff that keeps you stuck in difficulties, whether that is a hardened heart, stinkin’ thinkin’, anger, anything negative that surfaces within you during challenges. OWN IT! Apologize for it and ask God to remove it from you because it doesn’t line up with His Goodness and the life of peace He has for you!

We wrestle in our own strength because our flesh, our mind, our emotions, our reasoning, our logic are all finite and within our control. But they will only take us so far. It’s like fighting a swarm of bees with a squirt gun. We can keep doing it on our own but it’s evident our trigger finger is going to wear out while emptying our guns. And that stream of water isn’t going to last very long OR succeed in thwarting the bees. It’s most likely just going to make them angry and swarm you even more!

Truth be told, there will always be “bees”, my friend. Why not consider calling on the help of the Best and Biggest Friend you’ll ever have or need? You know, the One with the enormous tennis racquet who swats those bees all into a daze so they fly away disoriented leaving you safe and secure. And each time that swarm returns, instead of using your little squirt gun, just give a shout out to your True Defender. Deuteronomy 32:4 confirms this - The Lord is your mighty defender, perfect and just in all his ways; Your God is faithful and true; he does what is right and fair.

I will end with this final thought. Jesus not only came to fully take upon himself every facet of your hot mess. He also came to set you free from all guilt, shame, and addiction. 

But that’s another blog all its own…

*If you recognize that you’ve been trying to fix your circumstances on your own and keep coming up short, I encourage you to invite Jesus into your heart right here, right now. Click the link below and allow the late Billy Graham to speak to your soul.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUbFr9ykEzo

And if you already belong to Jesus but are struggling, I encourage you to pray this prayer out loud:

Lord, I admit I am powerless to change _____________. Forgive me for trying to solve this in my own strength. I acknowledge that You can only be strong in me when I invite You into my weaknesses. So Lord, I give this to You and ask for Your grace and mercy to cover both me and the situation. Help me to trust You and be patient while You work all this out for my good and the good of others. Your will be done, Your kingdom come. Amen.

You are loved more than you know and in Jesus, there is always hope.