Balance

Life can be hard. 
It’s been my experience that many are not wiling to take the time to really peer into the “hard” and figure it out. 

Wisdom has taught me that pointing my finger at someone else and making them responsible for my “hard” is not figuring it out. 
It’s only making the “hard” harder. 

Wisdom and experience has also taught me that not everyone is going to like you, include you, or remember you. Sometimes you will be unintentionally forgotten, purposely not included or blatantly rejected. That’s hard. And what do you do with that?

The answer is: know your audience. 

People will let you down. And you will also let people down. Is it occasional or habitual?

Occasional is normal - and even expected. Habitual - either on your or someone else’s part is not good.

I am a Christian. I don’t take that lightly. 
I am a Christ follower. I love Jesus. I am always overwhelmed at His sacrifice.
I am far from perfect.

Often we tend to get sucked into funnel thinking that just because we are a Christian we always should turn the other cheek when others come against us, pray for our enemies and frequently forgive.

But what happens when you have a relationship where neither person is on the same page and your grace has worn down to a thread? Pause:  I am not talking about a marriage relationship. God’s got a whole separate set of parameters for that one!

Pray for the Lord to manifest balance and healthy boundaries in your life with that person or people.  

In your heart and in good faith, you have done all you know how to do. You’ve communicated how you feel about the situation and it’s been rejected. You have walked in love and it has been ignored. You have prayed and nothing improves. The Word tells us what to do when relationship gears just don’t work.

Proverbs 16:17-18 Good people stay away from evil. By watching what they do, they protect their lives. Pride will destroy a person; a proud attitude leads to ruin. 

2 Timothy 3 speaks of people in the last days who are selfish, slander others, are pride filled, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, contrary, critical, without self-control, brutal, and they won’t love what is good. Timothy admonishes us to avoid those people.

Proverbs 4:14-15 Don’t follow the bad example of cruel and evil people. Turn aside and keep going. Stay away from them. 

Sometimes it is best to walk away from a relationship, give it to God and ask Him to infiltrate the person’s heart and ultimately their life. If a relationship is stuck in the mud, only God knows the fix. Sometimes people are relying on us for their “fix” and it just doesn’t work that way. None of us are “The Way, the Truth, or the Life.” Only Jesus fills those shoes. If we tend to be breaths of fresh air to those who are stuck breathing s.t.a.n.k.y. air, they want us around because we give them gulps of life. But the reality is, only the True Life Giver can give the life they need. Removing yourself may be the catalyst they need to cry out to God. 

I liken it to that pivotal scene in Titanic when Rose is on floating on the wreckage in the frigid Atlantic and Jack is in the water because there isn’t room for both of them. Although she keeps crying “I’ll never let go,” once she realizes Jack is lifeless, she lets go of his hand. He sinks and she secures her own survival. She is now able to wave with both hands for the life boat. 

Letting go does not mean you stop loving. Letting go means you love yourself enough to not allow someone else take you down with the ship. Letting go and letting God brings freedom.

It’s not easy. And if the other person never comes around, it isn’t your fault. It’s them. They aren’t willing to look at themselves and take responsibility for what they bring to the relationship. And it’s ok. You will feel loss - especially if the relationship ends or doesn’t change. Healthy relationships take two people. Honesty, respect, change, adjustment, listening, and compassion are the positive building blocks to positive thriving relationship. One person doing all the work and bearing the load is not relationship.

The great thing is that we have choices. We get to choose how often we see, talk or text that person. We get to choose what we are comfortable and not comfortable with. We then get to choose healthy boundaries which will lead to healthy balance and ultimately, beautiful blessings. 

Proverbs 4:18-19 The lifestyle of good people is like sunlight at dawn that keeps getting brighter until broad daylight. The lifestyle of the wicked is like total darkness, and they will never know what makes them stumble.

Friend, accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior does not turn our lives into unicorns and rainbows. When we invite Jesus to make His home within us, if we are willing, He allows struggles of many different proportions to come our way in the hopes of us growing closer and more like Him. As we grow, change, mature and gain insight and wisdom in our experiences, we are to pass that on to the ones God will place along our path at some point. Ultimately, God is glorified. And that’s what we want; to show the world who He is through our life. 

A friend of mine wrote the following and it’s a fresh burst of truth for all of us. I speak this over you for the coming year!

Today I lay down all the burdens I've been carrying, that were never mine to carry
Today I will trust God when He says to cast my cares on Him because He cares for me
Today I will believe that Jesus loves me and always has and always will
Today I will allow Him to hold me and I will find rest in His presence
Today I believe that God is for me, that He has already gone before me and made a way
Today I will believe that He will bring beauty from these ashes
Today I will believe that God will use all of this for good, because we love him
Today I will believe that He has plans for good not harm, that He brings us hope and a future
Today I will believe that He hears me, sees me and is working it all out
Today I surrender my life and the lives of my family into God's most capable, loving, caring, compassionate, kind, all knowing, all powerful hands
Today I will walk in the love that He has poured out on me
Today I will trust God to do what only He can do - and trust in His timing
Today I will grab hold of the promises He has spoken to me
Today I will declare that I am Spirit led and have a sound mind
Today I declare that the peace of Christ rules in my heart and mind
Today I receive refreshing and renewing, comfort and strength, wisdom and knowledge, grace and mercy
Today I will praise the name of Jesus in all circumstances, for He is good and His love endures forever ❤

Happy New Year!

#youareloved