The Struggle

We exist in two worlds: tangible earth (based on facts) and spirit Kingdom of Heaven (rooted in Truth). Which ever realm we choose to spend our time in, God leaves entirely up to us. I would wager that if any of us have tried to make difficult things work on our own, maybe we’ve been successful a few times and things actually got better. But wisdom conveys that so many circumstances and people, are beyond our earthly ability to control. We can only control ourselves; our reactions, our passivity or aggressiveness, our perceptions, attitudes, thoughts and how we make sense of things in our minds and ultimately in our hearts. 

I am almost half a century old. And something quite magical seems to take place as one moves into middle age; you not only don’t want anymore drama. but you tend to realize that only God can change people. And the brilliant thing about that is He WANTS to change people. He WANTS people to turn to Him. He WANTS to bring life and Truth to His children. He created us to have relationship with Him!  We were never created to exist without Him. But the loving Father that He is, He gives us free will to choose Him…or not.

Sadly, so often, we remain creatures of habit frozen in place in how we handle and process life relying on ourselves and the world’s standards - living life in earthly facts; getting angry, getting offended and getting hurt. We mull it over, obsess about it, lose our appetites or eat ravenously to soften the sting. And if the situation continues with no end in sight, depression can set it. Most of us are are generally so busy keeping up, the last thing we want to do is stop to work on ourselves. We generally don’t want to change our tactics. We want others to change theirs. Learning new strategies takes work and effort on our part. But it is possible.

“Something quite magical seems to take place as one moves into middle age; ”

Now I realize I may not be speaking to the masses. Bless those of you who have incredible marriages or family relationships and everything is great allowing you to move through life happy just the way things are! Many of us, however, have gotten caught up in, what seems like, the never ending cycle of banging our heads against the wall when having to deal with ongoing challenging circumstances, people, or both. 

Life can be brutal - especially when dealing with people who we have heart strings attached to. It’s easier to deal with work acquaintances, neighbors, or co-workers - people we don’t have a vested interest in. I call them the “outskirts people.” They don’t live in our hearts like family, especially like husbands, children and sometimes parents and siblings. We can totally fake it with them - put on the happy face while writhing inside after an argument with a husband, an aggravating morning with kids or our heart and words being rejected by a loved one. Outskirts people provide us with momentary distraction which pulls us away from drowning in the “ties-that-bind” struggle.

When we face challenges with “outskirts” people, we get annoyed, feel slimed or sad but it generally doesn’t affect us the way a challenge would with our husband, children or family of origin. THEY hold keys to our hearts. They know our buttons. We have relational intimacy with those so very close to us because we care and love them so deeply. 

“Life can be brutal - especially when dealing with people who we have heart strings attached to.”

We want the best for the ones we love. We go the extra mile. We eat crow for them. We deny ourselves for them. We make ourselves available for them - all in the name of perpetuating loving relationship. We strive for happiness within those relationships and our hearts sing when things are wonderful and going smoothly. We covet those happy moments. 

Daily, we stalk Facebook and see pictures of people’s happy moments. That’s what we post - our happy moments with the intention of sharing those happy moments with the world. “Look! Here’s my happy! Isn’t it awesome?!” We all do it. It’s human nature. But I venture to say, most of us have plenty of unhappy moments. Those pics we don’t publicly and routinely share with the world - the tears, the struggle. We are a society of chasing happy and pleasure. The struggle is hard and it hurts. The struggle often send us messages of how inadequate we are on multiple levels. It whispers incompetence, rejection, blame, shame, and so on. And that is not what we want to share with social media.

Let’s remember God created each of us to exist in loving relationship with Him. He is wild about us. If we really began to grasp our created and intended identities coupled with Heavenly mindsets, so many of our earthly struggles would possibly turn into something quite extraordinary.

Graham Cooke is one of my favorite pastors. His teaching is revolutionary and NOTHING like I have ever heard under any physical church roof. While recently listening to one of his teachings, this is what he basically conveyed:

We’ve grown up speaking the language of earth. Jesus came to teach us the language of Heaven. It’s a foreign language to us. The natural mind can’t receive it, can’t understand it and thinks it’s foolish. We can’t speak it until we take the time to learn it. And if we want to learn it we have to be willing to set aside the world’s language and lifestyle, which is based on logic, reason, rationale, and intellectualism. Instead, we need to learn and embrace Heaven’s language and lifestyle.…Culture and society are inherently negative and we live in a problem solving universe. There are no problems in Heaven - only possibilities. Jesus came to give us Heaven’s mindset, which, to the world, is completely irrational, illogical, unreasonable and totally opposes earthly language and lifestyle. There is a way of thinking, a way of seeing and a way of speaking that will absolutely dominate our life and worldly circumstances using the mind of Christ. He came to earth and said what is impossible for man, is very possible for God. We need only believe.

Try as we may to change circumstances and people on our own by using reason, logic, rationale and intellectualism, there most always comes a point where we throw our hands up and say, “I give up.” Perfect. That is exactly where we want to be. THEN and ONLY then are we positioned to embrace and learn to utilize the language we were divinely created to use and operate in: Heaven’s. 

Graham Cooke also shares that if we do not learn to make our problems vulnerable to the way Heaven handles them then we will always become vulnerable to our problems. 

“We have to be willing to set aside the world’s language and lifestyle”

It all boils down to this: if we invite Jesus into our hearts and are baptized, we will NEVER again have a sin nature. We may have sin habits but habits can be broken. The old man was crucified with Christ and is now alive in Christ which means we are joint heirs and have been given the keys to His Kingdom. We have a new identity that most new Christians are unaware of. When God sees us - He sees His son IN us. No mistake we can ever make is going to compromise His love for us or our relationship with Him. We get stuck in worldly mindset because we are unaware of how to think any differently. The difficulties we face are the opportunities for us to grow up in Christ and elevate us spiritually! When we continually hit a dead end, it’s because THAT end is actually God’s beginning! But the key here is to recognize that where we finally end is exactly where God begins. 

Come to Me all who are weary and heavy ladened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30) 

We try too hard. And we don’t need to. Only be willing and brave enough to believe in Someone and Something you can’t see - the Trinity and the Kingdom of Heaven. Change the way you think and the source you tap into, and change your life.

Lastly, consider this: a lock can only be opened when using the right key. Which key have you been using?

Father, I pray the Blood of Jesus over my sisters today. Meet them where they are and expand their understanding of who You are and WHO THEY ARE IN YOU! Father, blow the lid off of their worldly perception and thinking and INVADE them with Kingdom thinking. Make Kingdom thinking their reality where the struggles they face are understood as opportunities to grow into Christ. As You are, so are we in this world (1 John 4:17). Renew our minds to think the way You think about us and the circumstances we face. And as a result, let us experience a new level of peace that surpasses all understanding - because we are choosing to reside and rest in You. In Jesus name, amen.

I encourage you, if you can find an hour, consider watching the teaching I referred to earlier by Graham Cooke. It inspires us to reach higher and believe for so much more than the average status quo of this world.

Song of the Day:

#youaresoloved